Well…the last year and a half has been a whirlwind to say the least. I put this little blog on the back burner during this time, and first wanted to get out my “why’s” before I jump back into it again.
So here I go…
It’s January 2020. Life is pretty good. Just got back from Mexico with Tobias. It’s my birthday. Still writing the blog and having fun. Then…I have these feelings. Something is…off. To just cut to the chase: I was pregnant. Let me sum up all the emotions going on with just some words: surprised, happy, scared, unsure, relieved, tired, nervous, and ultimately just shocked. Well, we really shouldn’t be that shocked if you get my drift, but let’s face it, it wasn’t totally expected. Tobias and I had already decided we both wanted kids, but my uterus must have heard that conversation and bam, there ya have it. Long story short, it was an amazing feeling and we were both super excited over all those other feelings.
Life carried on as normal as possible for a good few weeks; yes I changed my lifestyle some but I was still active, working, doing my blog thing, the same old same old. This is about the time all the Covid pandemic stuff started to basically hit the fan — I feel like I don’t have to go into a bunch of detail on all that right? But, remember, I’m pregnant…and if anybody knew somebody that was pregnant during Covid you then know that it was extra weird for some of us. If emotions aren’t already high enough being pregnant with your first baby, let’s throw a worldwide crisis on ya! Nobody coming with you to doctors appointments, not having live classes that tell me how to swaddle this dang baby, family members not coming to check on you…needless to say, it was just a lot.
So now we’re about 4 months or so into this pregnancy, and the pandemic is right about at it’s peak (and staying there for what, like 2-3 months?). Shit just got hard for me. That’s the truth. It got hard mentally. It got hard physically. It got hard emotionally. It felt at times I couldn’t even get out of bed. I tried to keep up with the things that I loved and felt that I needed to still do, and I am proud that I really did do a pretty good job at most of it. I kept riding when I could (more on that in a future post I’m sure). I kept home yoga and breathing meditations up. I tried to still eat ‘ok’ — not going to lie, those cravings are a killer to try and avoid. I kept working my 9-5 job full-time. But some things I just couldn’t tackle on top of all that. This, right here, my little blog hobby, it definitely fell by the wayside. And I let it.
Now I don’t want to say I just gave up on it, because that feels really negative, but instead I like to think I just set it aside knowing I’d come back to it some other day. A day where I felt like me again, and had the energy and commitment to really give it. I literally couldn’t physically put aside the extra even hour or so a week to do something with it during the second half of my pregnancy. My health, my happiness, my mental state, all those came first.
This explains why I let the blog go during my pregnancy, and it’s pretty much the same for why it was still on the back-burner after I gave birth — which by the way, to a beautiful baby boy who I will introduce to the world in an upcoming post. Babies. Are. Hard. Work. Period. I will never apologize for putting my baby first in front of so many things — wanted to watch that movie? Sorry, baby needs you. Wanted to go read your book for an hour? Nope, baby is hungry. And I will never be mad about that. He is the best thing ever. But damn, I was so tired and busy 24/7 I didn’t even have time to say the word blog. So for the last 12 months he has been 100% my main focus in life. Yes I still had to work, and yes I liked to get back into some sort of new workout regime, and sure I still got to my horse when I could and walked the dog, but things like this I was just not ready to really commit back to. I know it would be half-assed, and I didn’t want to do that.
So now here we are, just about a year and a half after my last real blog interaction, and I’m hoping the above pretty much sums up any type of “why did you stop blogging?”. I am finally at a place where I feel energized and put together enough to really give this thing a go — even more than I did when I first started. I’m truly committed to getting stories out there, connecting with others with the same interests, and hopefully help support multiple different small businesses and animal charities as possible.
If you’re still with me, I first want to thank you for reading thru my mini documentary of where I’ve been the last 18 months and why I haven’t been present on here. Secondly, stay tuned for my second part in this last 18 months series where I discuss “the adventures” that also kept me insanely busy over that timespan.